Today I would like to introduce Nikita Gupta whom I recently got acquainted with on one of our blogging platforms. A few months ago I got a message in my inbox saying you have a friend request and the message said that it’s from Gupta. So with that Indian surname in mind and with imaginary Indian profile picture in mind, I started doing my usual check to see who this person was and whether it was a genuine request etc. I must say that with the first click to the website growingupgupta I was stumped to see a completely different profile picture. For a moment I thought “why is she calling herself Gupta”. This made me more curious about how she became Gupta. Nikita has an adorable daughter.So I right away asked her to share her challenges and views on parently…That said, here is Nikita Gupta’s guest post for ViMaNeAa readers!
Prior to having our biracial (Indian and African-American) daughter, my husband and I had set rules and regulations for how we were going to raise her. My husband is Indian and his parents are from Northern India and I’m African-American so we both grew up in different but strict family structures and cultures. Given this, there were things in our respective childhood’s that we viewed unfavorably and thus we promised ourselves that we would never impose these things on her.
However, after having a child that has a disdain for sleep and a love for creating chaos wherever she goes. The type of chaos that causes her grandparents to smile back in a teasing way by saying, “she is making memories and fine tuning motor skills”. We watch on with fatigue, as she: enthusiastically rips all the pillows and cushions off the couches, jumps up and down on any piece of furniture that will hold her weigh, climbs her way onto the stair banister, drops a cup of water onto the floor and then shyly looks back and says what happy (happened)? And while this isn’t enough excitement for her, she then finds her way to: move the ottoman or any pint size furniture so that she can be in fingertip reach of the TV, get into the cabinets, open lipstick and lip glosses/anything that doesn’t have a strong cap on it, and commence to smear it on the walls.
Thus, the rules and regulations we created pre kids have gone out the door and we have found ourselves morphing into our parents. How? Here are 5 ways:
1.) Pre-kids, you never understood why your parents were always wearing flip flops (chappals in Hindi). You only saw flips flops as a necessity during summer time and heading to the beach. Post kids, you find yourself wearing flip flops 24/7. You have them in all colors and they have become your all season and all purpose shoe. Who knew they were so comfortable and stylish? They are easy to put on and take off with little to no effort. You are able to hold your child, run to a doctor’s appointment, grocery store, and take the trash out in them. I love my flip flops!
2.) Pre-kids, growing up you heard your parents harp on you about your grades in math no being up to par. So they enrolled you in Kumon and your grades improved. You promised yourself you would never do that to your kids. Post kids, days after having your child you find yourself not only singing nursery rhymes to them but making up your own 1+1 =2, yay, 2+2=4 yay, 4+4=8 and so and so forth. You have to start them off early, right?
3.) Pre-kids, you never understood why your parents would force you to finish every last bite of your food. You promised yourself you’d never do this to your kids. Post kids, you see your child throwing food all over the floor, half eating the food, eating a bite and then saying “all done” and, you blurt out “you are not getting up until you eat all this food on this plate”. “Didn’t you just ask me to make this for you?”
4.) Pre-kids, it seems daily that you heard of the importance of being a doctor, lawyer or engineer. Those were the only occupations of importance to your parents. You promised yourself your kid can be what ever they want to be. Post kids, you see the difficult economic times and notice that doctors, lawyers, and engineers are always in demand. You find yourself buying your 2 year old a doctor’s outfit for Halloween complete with a stethoscope. You child loves trying to use the stethoscope on you and you find yourself smiling from cheek to cheek with utter delight. And of course, calling them Dr. every time they do it.
5.) Pre-kids, as a child you grew up eating rice and raita (yogurt). You ate so much rice and raita that you promised yourself your child wouldn’t have to suffer through eating rice and raita. Post kids, because your child hates to sleep you find yourself feeding your child rice and raita daily. Why? It is easy to make, heat up, freeze and better yet your child loves it! Rice and raita anyone?
Nikita’s in her own words
The surname Gupta, गुप्ता is one of the most prevalent in the Indian community. It is a surname that I, Nikita Gupta have become accustomed to owning for the last 7.5 years of my life. I would say it is one that I have grown to love. Hence, the lifestyle blog Growing up Gupta was birthed. Growing up Gupta was created as a means for my husband and I to talk about our unique family. It’s not everyday that you hear of an African-American woman marrying an Indian man (whose parents are originally from Northern India). However, we have been blissfully married for 7.5 years and have 1 child (Amaya) who is now 2.5 years old. Our lifestyle blog is dedicated to uncovering the joys and hurdles of interracial dating and marriage, parenting a biracial/half Indian child, career hacks, and the funny unpredictability of life.